The unluckiest girl alive

I've met some people who, just by turning on the slightest bit of charm, can win over anyone they meet. They make friends quickly, meet potential partners with the greatest of ease, & always wow superiors with a quick chat.

I am not one of these people.

I have spent most of my life trying to prove myself. Always working hard and fighting to get noticed and earn respect from management and coworkers... yet always brushed aside, forgotten, belittled.

Simply "not good enough".

Smart, but always struggling in honors classes. 2nd chair clarinet, never 1st. Men think I'm cute, but not girlfriend material. Good enough to stay in an unrewarding position, and can never quite excel to where I want to be.

I'm stuck. I want a change. I want to meet my goals, exceed them. I want men to take me seriously and i want them to want to get to know the real me.

I want to know I'm good enough.

I'm tired of fighting, I'm ready to reap some rewards from all this bullshit I've had to put up with all my life.

Do I keep trying, or do I accept defeat?

And for no reason...

Blue shirt day.

St. Patty's Day...

was a bust. Wednesday was such a random day at work, by the time the end of the shift came along, I was too tired to even think about drinking and dealing with crowds.

To protest the stereotyping of Irishmen everywhere, I did not wear green. I wore gray. And Green beer is lame.

I got me a Smart Phone...

But does it make me smarter ;)? I got the Droid Eris, and so far, I like it a lot. I really enjoy the touchscreen. It's a lot like the one on my iPod Touch, but slightly jerkier. There are many fun and useful Apps in the Android Market. I particularly like Ringdroid. It's like a mini version of ProTools, so you can edit existing MP3's and 4's on your phone into whatever ringtone you desire. Very addicting!

On the downside, there are fewer namebrand Apps available for Android platform devices than Apple. Despite all the reviews on severe battery drain caused by "awake" Apps, I've found several ways to preserve my battery's strength. First of all, I've conditioned the battery all week by letting it run out all the way, then charging it fully. I also choose to only use my mobile network when away from wi-fi hotspots.

What I really love about this phone, though, is that you can customize the homescreens and all the widgets. I need to make my phone really cute, yo! I found a high quality silicone case, in a pretty aqua color, at the Verizon store. Plus, the sales associate stuck the scratch guard on the screen for me. I find that more frustrating than anything. He did a great job to minimize the bubbles! Thanks, dude!

Watching the Oscars...

While my station airs the Oscars this evening, I, along with the rest of the production team, sit back without much to do. So I'm watching the awards.. but I haven't seen any of the movies.. not even Up! Maybe I'll get to renting them sometime this week. Charlize Theron's dress is a tad too bridal party, with 2 large rosettes covering her busom. I thoroughly enoyed watching the tribute to John Hughes, especially when many of the stars once featured in his films came out on stage to pay their respects. Molly Ringwald AND Ally Sheedy?!?!? What in the world?!! Awesome.